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this is it!
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My outsides look cool, my insides are blue.
- Ugh, blah. I haven’t written on here in a while and feel so down on myself today.
- I’m rethinking this whole being a hairdresser business. I know I’m just starting out and still have a lot to learn, but its hard when your costumers make you feel like shit and you just want to bawl your eyes out.
- I hate working full time. I wish money just happened and was in my bank account.
- I wish my Brandon wasn’t working and I had someone to cuddle.
- Hmmph. I don’t even know what to blog. Can I go to bed yet?
- :(
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everybody loves a winner so nobody loved me.
- 13 months! holy. its been over a year and I still love you unconditionally. Ya I get annoyed with you and frustrated and angry. I have days where I just want to blow up at you, but I still love you no matter what. You still give me chills, make my heart skip a beat, give me butterflies and make my toes curl. You’re everything to me and I never want to lose you. I love you baby.
- Oh my lanta. Started hair school november 1st. Its been a long process, it makes me act crazy and bitchy, but I’m so excited to get to my future and have my career all sorted out. I finally am going to start clients this week I think. I’m so nervous, but so excited. I’ve been working towards this for a long time. Its thrilling!
- You make my head hurt. Everything just angers me lately and us fighting is definitely not helping any. I want things to go back to normal. I miss talking to you everyday. We both need to put effort in, but neither one of us seems to want to try. Whats wrong with us. I need you more than you think. We have too much to let this all go. I know it was wrong of me to write that status, but I just wanted your attention. I needed that. I need you to talk to me and listen to me. I need to know you’re still there for me.
- Can’t wait for christmas! I’m so excited to spend it with you. Just the 2 of us. We’re cute together!
- I can’t wait for the new year and for things to change. I’m excited for it all!
- We have our ups and downs. We hate each other and love each other. We’re sisters. Its suppose to be like that. I’m really going to miss you. We don’t see each other as is, but when you move we’ll probably never see each other and I don’t know how well that’s going over. It has its up like not having to be so quiet in the morning, no one using my stuff or hogging the bathroom, a bigger room is exciting too. But I think it has a lot of downs like never seeing each other, not being able to talk late at night, not having someone to help solve my problems or get an opinion on my clothes. I’m really going to miss you even though you make me so angry sometimes that I just want to hit you. I’ll just have to deal I guess.
- Well that’s that. End of my mixed emotion blog. <3
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blog blog blah blah
- do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter. YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER BEEN MINE. This song defines us to a tee. :)
- You’re selfish and childish. You need to grow up and make something of yourself. I miss you like crazy and how we use to be. I just want to see you grow up and realize life isn’t easy and everyone has to work to get what they want. Maybe when we’re both older we can be good friends again. But for now you’re nothing to me.
- You’re so careless with your vagina and should probably close your legs from now on. Seriously I don’t want to have to raise your bastard children. You disgust me.
- I want to fast forward about 2 years. I want to be settled in a nice apartment, have my dream career as a hairdresser and I want to be good at it, I want to drive and have a nice car. I want you to have you’re dream job and for our lives to be going smoothly. I hate waiting. I have little patience.
- Sunday should get here now! I’m tired of waiting.
- Family + food + drinks = greatest birthday. I can’t wait.
- I want balloons, lilies, and a ducky cake.
- I really hope my award is like $10 000 scholarship that I can use on anything. I’d pay back the student loan I’m going to take out and not worry about Christmas.
- It would be so nice if things just went how you wanted them.
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its time to take out the trash… and write a blog!
- I’ve really grown sick of you. You try so hard for everyone else, but me. You put forth effort where little to no effort is put in, in return. Maybe once in a while you could throw a text my way. Ask me to hang out? That would be too much to ask of someone who does nothing all day. I hope you know how much I dislike you at this present moment. Its pathetic you put in effort to hang out with my boyfriend and his sister, but to hang out with me your own best friend is far too hard to ask of you. I’m done until you put more effort into our friendship. I’ve tried so hard for you and us. We had so much and now its just being thrown away like we don’t even know each other. I’m done.
- Ugh what is wrong with me these past couple days I just want to scream and cry. Maybe the heat is getting to me or the fact that I feel like I don’t do anything with my life. I just want to go to bed for eternity.
- Went applying at places yesterday. It was ok. Hopefully I can get a job because I can’t stand CT anymore. That place is crap.
- I miss you as crazy as that is. I saw you monday, but I miss you and I can’t wait to see you tonight. It will hopefully cheer me up!
- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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cause when we kiss oooooooo fiiiiire <3
- well, well, well. Haven’t blogged in a while and there is so much going on!
- since my last blog was blah I guess I should mention how awesome New York was… It was AWESOME! A great experience and I would go back in a heart beat. I am going to go back one day with someone special ;) We are going to see every broadway possible. That was the highlight, broadway!
- Grad was pretty freaking fantastic! I got to look great and wear a beautiful dress and have my handsome boyfriend on my arm. He looked sooooooo good in a suit. Meow! It got a little lame after though because I went to bed right away. I was exhausted. Haha. It was a long, amazing day and now I don’t ever have to go back to high school.
- I got inked! I got my tattoo almost 2 weeks ago and I love it. Its so worth the pain! I can’t wait to get another tattoo. I was glad I had a hand to hold and I’m glad it was no one else but yours. Goodness its exciting.
- We have made it over half a year and though right now it seems a little rocky for some reason, we will make it to a full year and many years after that. I have faith in us and I am way to in love to stop trying.
- I love you so much. I dislike this fighting business and I hope it can stop soon. I really love and miss you. I feel so pathetic because its only been a few days since I saw you, but I really really miss you. I can’t wait to cuddle up to you again.
- Blah! I hate people so much. I am way to hateful for my own good. I should try to be less hateful, its just hard when no one seems to care so I stop caring and then start hating them.
- You make me so proud. Quitting sev like that, though I’m a tad worried about you finding a new job. Oh well I have faith that you can get a job and it will be fine. Also how much you have cut back on smoking. Babe you make me so proud.
- I slept in today. Till 11. It was great and though I’m still a tad tired I’m not extremely exhausted. I’m proud that I slept in though.
- That’s the end of that story. WOOF WOOF!
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And if I should ever fall in love again With someone new Oh, It could never be the way No, It will never be the way I loved you
- why does no one blog anymore? its rather frustrating when you want to read a new blog and there is never anything new. I have no real reason why I am even writing my blog. I’m bored. HAHAHA
- Grad on saturday. So stoked. My cousin and grandparents are coming and I am so happy to have my love there too! :)
- I get to make a tattoo appointment asap. Hopefully my gmas graduation money comes before then so I can afford it. I’m stoked.
- My bad day has been turning out pretty good now. It would get better if you were awake, but I’ll let you sleep.
- EEP! I love you! You make me so happy and goodness do I ever love you!
- cut and colored hair looks fucking fabulous. You bitches got nothing on me.
- <333333333333333333333
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If I didn’t want this so much I wouldn’t be trying so hard :(
Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again
‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life would suck without you
Baby I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I’m nothing without you
‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life would suck without you
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you
But I can’t let you go
Oh yeah
‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life would suck without you
‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life would suck without you
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This is love <3
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From this moment life has begun, From this moment you are the one Right beside you is where I belong. From this moment on.
I wish this would all just go away and the pain I feel would stop. You need to go away. That tiny part that likes you should just vanish. I’m so hurt, lost and confused. I have never loved some one like I really really love you and it kills me that I’m hurting you and it kills me that you are actually withholding sex. I understand it completely but its just scary and hurts. I have never been this sick feeling over something like this. All I want is for you to be happy and feel loved you deserve that and so much more from me. You don’t deserve me, you deserve better. I feel so worthless today and like I don’t belong anywhere. I want to graduate and move somewhere far away from everyone who has ever hurt me and everyone that doesn’t care. I need a place away from here. A place of my own where I can be myself around everyone. Where I’m not hiding anything or hurting anyone continuously. I just hope this will pass soon and we can get back to our regular routine. Cuddling in bed, watching tv, having sex like its really no big deal, having cute dates and just being in each others arms. I hope stuff doesn’t change much now because of my stupid lies or stupid feelings for that stupid boy! Go away feelings, please. I want to just curl up and die today, but I still have to go to work and put a smile on my face like nothing is wrong. We’ll get through this. We are strong and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make this right. I smell you and its intoxicating and make my head spin. Please forgive me, not that I deserve it. I LOVE YOU BRANDON SLANEY!
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you appear just like a dream to me <3
Hey gorgeous. Happy anniversary babe. 5 months is sort of a big deal. :) I decided not to text you this morning because I have no idea how late you ended up staying and figured you deserved your beauty sleep, not that you need it of course. ;) I hope you had fun last night babe, I’m just sorry we couldn’t spend it cuddling, walking hand-in-hand in the moonlight, and dreaming about the future we’re headed for together.
I love you ever so much. These last 5 months have been the happiest of my life. I’ve never felt so loved or complete. I know I can be high maintenance, jealous, moody, and I have a cling factor of 5, but I’m so glad you love me regardless and stay with me through it all. You’re just so perfect for me, and we really are the cutest couple around. You make my knees weak, my head spin, and make me cry tears of joy while keeping a smile eternally plastered on my face. Somebunny loves you, and they’ll never stop.
I can’t wait to see you today, and over the next couple days as well. I have never enjoyed spending time with someone like I do with you. No matter what we end up doing, I never find myself wishing I was elsewhere or with someone else, it’s always just about how happy I am that it’s you and me.
I love you sooooooo much baby, you don’t even know. I’ll text you when I wake up from my nap, and we’ll have a wonderful afternoon and evening together, just like every time we spend it together.
I love you Amber Michelle Bitschy. I honestly can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, experiencing all the little joys and overcoming hurdles together, all while staying the most amazing and cutest couple around. Everyone else should be jealous of how deep and fulfilling our love really is. It’s the kind of love I’d always wished I could experience, and I’m glad I’m not experiencing it with anybody else but you. You’re the only girl for me, and that’s how it’s going to stay. Talk to you tonight soul mate. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms.
3 words… What a boy <3
Another 3 words I’m in loooooooooooooooooooooooove!
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